The Love Hormone Oxytocin – The Hormone of Connection
Since we celebrate Valentine’s Day in February, it is a perfect time to learn how relationships are affected by our hormones. Oxytocin is a potent peptide hormone produced in the hypothalamus and secreted into the bloodstream by the posterior pituitary gland. It is the hormone of love, bonding, and connection.
Mother nature produces a rush of oxytocin in a pregnant mother who is in labor because this hormone supports the critical bond between mother and her newborn after birth, as well as when the mother’s milk lets down to nurse her baby. As the baby nurses over the next weeks or months, the bond deepens as a result of the repeated release of oxytocin, the skin-to-skin contact, and the eye-to-eye gaze between mother and infant. The release of this “love hormone” is not limited to the mother-infant relationship. It is critically important for our intimate relationships as well.
Oxytocin is also released in abundance during orgasm, which is why maintaining sexual intimacy is so vital in a relationship. But a climactic event isn’t a requirement to stimulate the production of oxytocin. This important bonding hormone can be released during the simple acts of playing, laughing, hugging, and giving. While it is a hormone that is released during the acts of giving and receiving, it also plays an essential role in emotional wellbeing. The simple act of looking into someone’s eyes and actively listening to what they are saying stimulates oxytocin production in both parties.
Now that you have an idea of what stimulates our bonding hormone, it is important to understand that the production of the opposing hormone, cortisol, will shut down the production of oxytocin. Cortisol is our stress hormone, also known as our flight or fight hormone. Your stress hormone needs to function well if you are being chased by a bear, but it can be detrimental to health if it is produced continuously in response to chronic stress. Your brain and body don’t recognize the difference between distress that results from being cut off in traffic vs. that resulting from being chased by a bear. Your adrenal glands are going to pump out cortisol in both of these situations. It is impossible to experience the benefits of oxytocin when you are in survival mode and your adrenal glands are pumping out cortisol in response to a stressor.
Increase oxytocin and your sense of well-being by doing the following:
Maintain a positive state of mind. Manage your thoughts to avoid allowing negative thoughts to shift your cortisol into overdrive.
Meditate in morning as soon as you rise while your brain is still in a theta wave state, preferably before the sun comes up while the house is still dark, as bright light can disrupt your theta wave state.
Take deep diaphragmatic breaths throughout the day to maintain a relaxed muscle body and keep your cortisol from surging unnecessarily.
Maintain a gratitude journal: write in it each morning to set a positive tone for your day. You can pray before bed and thank your higher power for all the blessings in your life, which actually helps relax your brain before sleep.
Regulate your circadian rhythm to keep your cortisol levels within normal ranges.
Optimize your steroid hormones. As we age, our production of estrogen, progesterone, testosterone, and DHEA can diminish, which can cause emotional or physical symptoms that may disrupt oxytocin production and cause us to shy away from our partner or our social support network.
Breathe deeply while walking in a natural setting like on the beach or in the forest to get grounded with the earth’s magnetic field.
Exercise acts of kindness: Simply complimenting someone can increase their oxytocin as well as your own.
Have frequent orgasms to open the oxytocin flood gates.
Hug your family and friends. A simple act of touch can stimulate the vagus nerve, which is extremely important for your health. To learn how critical vagal nerve stimulation is for your health and wellbeing, you can read, The Vagus Nerve: The Key to Wellbeing under the articles tab on this website.
In good health,
Valerie Folsom-Martin, MSW, LCSW, CIMHP, CCTP, FDN-P, CHHC
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